Throughout this build process I’ve tried (I really have tried) to remain calm and professional. I’ve been helping with the project management of the build, which has been a lot of work and effort. I’ve enjoyed a lot of it, being so involved in building my own home has been really rewarding, but there have been many frustrations. This, it appears, is the nature of building. But throughout it all I’ve tried to be realistic, helpful and persistent in achieving our goals. In short I have been a reasonable individual.
I fear that this is no longer the case. The days of ‘let’s find a compromise’ Emmalina are over. Instead we have ‘fit my cooker or I will cut you’ Emmalina; I think she is here to stay. I find myself unable to brook any delay and have made some pretty terrifying threats against anyone who stands in my way. Of course they don’t know that but if the nervous laughter of our GC (Dave The Man) is anything to go by, I sound convincing.
Probably because I really do mean it.
I mean, we all have a dark side don’t we? Mine is perhaps slightly more developed than some, but still I feel pretty justified. I mean, shouldn’t people turn up when you are paying them to do a job? Isn’t this a prerequisite? And shouldn’t they do the thing they are being paid to do within the time frame they promised to do it? Is this so unreasonable to expect?
Sigh. We are just so close, we really are nearly there. It’s not that there isn’t more work to do, there is, but really we are a hairsbreadth away. Our kitchen appliances are being delivered on Thursday and I am collecting all of our light fittings tomorrow. So this Friday the electricians need to turn up and fit. my. cooker. You really don’t want to be the man who stands between me and my cooker. You will end up with and Emmalina shaped hole right through your middle and I will still expect you to fit my appliances. That’s where I’m at.
I appreciate that this may seem a little unhinged but it has been a very long year. And I am moving in 16 days, we are on a countdown people. Here is the list of some of the jobs that will be cleared off the docket this week:
Collect lights – mark up locations
Appliances to be delivered
Lights, sockets, light switches and appliances fitted
Septic bed covered over
Stucco finished (turn up damn you!)
Tiles ordered and fitted
Shower screen ordered
Bathroom fittings collected
Clean house in preparation for carpet fitters
Kitchen counters fitted (hopefully without shattering into 50 bajillion pieces)
And this week is relatively slow. But the brilliant bit is, the really fabulous and wonderful bit, when each one of these jobs is done there is no next stage. They are done. Complete. Finished. Finito. Fini. Fait Accompli. If only everyone will turn up, we’ll be fine. And I won’t have to get angry.
They won’t like me when I’m angry.